4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?6. Was learning cursive really necessary?7. Map Quest or Google Maps really need to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.10. Bad decisions make good stories.11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blu-Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection ... again.13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when. Wants to know everything so I’m giving it all to her. She’s taking everything I throw at her” he replied “I’m sorry buddy I’m so drunk I can barely read this it’s so blurry” I sent back to him “I’ll be down later”“Merry Xmas bro” I got back and rolled over.I heard and huge crash in the hallway from his bedroom and then on my wall “FUCK IM SHOOTING THIS SHIT UP IN YOI GOT DAMN” and a couple more thuds . I finally got up and saw Lauren in a robe cleaning up the hallway. The door was completely in the hallway and she was cleaning up some wood. “What’s going on babe what happened “ I asked “Sorry babe we were talking in his room and his wife and menopause and I asked him if that upset him and if he still wanted more k**s” she told me “Oh” I drunkenly mumbled“Well he told me he wanted a Ton and then I guess you can say we kinda talked about me and you and how many k**s I want. ““Yea doesn’t he have like 7?” I asked her“He’s got 12 .” She said“Hey buddy” derek came out of his bedroom “Yea.
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